LMFAO.........You know my Mom was right! It takes all kinds!
3:44 PM

Thursday, October 5, 2000

You know what? I feel sorry for people that lack faith. It must suck to go through life believing that there is nothing at the end of it. I believe in God, but that is my choice. Others they call him something different, Buddah, Jehovah, a "higher power". I do not consider myself any weaker for believing in this. Actually on the contrary, I think that I am stronger for this. It is not easy to believe in something that you can not see. That is what faith is. Knowing that something is there even though you can not see it. It is much easier to throw your hands up and say "well I just don't know and I am not going to make a decision because I do not want to be wrong." Faith is just "knowing". And to people that don't have it, it sounds like we are grasping for something. I think that it is the opposite. It is them who is grasping,. They have just thus far, been unable to grab a hold of something, so they grab to their claim of being "agnostic" "a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality (as God) is unknown and prob. unknowable; broadly : one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god." Call me crazy, but this looks to me like someone who is frightened to make a decision. I am not saying people who believe are any better than those who don't. I am just saying at least make a decision. Go one-way or the other. And one final note..............Ever notice that these so called "agnostics" are some of the most opinionated people that you will ever come across? Go figure!
6:07 PM

Boy sometimes long distance relationships can be hard on the heart!
5:11 PM

Oh yeah.................and hey Erin............if you are reading this. That person that I was talking about is reffering to both of us!
4:54 PM

Whoops! You know in a roundabout way I think that I just talked bad about someone. Oh well call me a dumb blonde!
3:51 PM

You know what I hate. I hate people that are so weak within themselves that they have to criticize others to make themselves feel better. I think in psychology it is called "disempowering others to empower yourself" (and you will note the punctuation marks there). I much prefer to spend my time talking positively about people, than to spend my time tearing them down. What do you think?
3:48 PM

Would you believe that I am actually getting hassled to update this. Wow I can not believe that I am already a celebrity! (haha two out of the three people that read this are hassling me). It has also been noted that I should write a litle deeper about thoughts and feelings. So I think that I am going to try and gear this page a little more towards that. Although I have to admit sometimes a feeling hits and I am not near a computer. And if I don't type it then and there it is hard to recreate the exact feeling again. But here goes........OK so have you ever listened to a song that does something to you inside? I mean when you listen to it iot becomes hard to breathe. I quite often get that feeling when I get bad anxiety, but this song, Beautiful . And it is not the words, (because let's just say they are not soft and sensual........but they are provoking in their own way). Anyway, it was suggested to me by a VERY good friend that I turn off all the lights and light a candle and look into the flame while listening. So I did, and my god. I can not even explain the feeling that came over me. It was something to do with the music, but it made me short of breath. Anyway, so that is my deep thought for the day. Check it out! There are you happy?????
11:10 AM

Tuesday, October 3, 2000

I can not believe that Jeremy (Ninja) said that I was going to pose for his site.....I mean I am, but just announcing it like that. And on top of that his websites always have a certain theme. So it is going to be tough to pull this off. But with the help of Erin and Jeremy's incredible design talents, I am hoping I will look pretty good!
4:50 PM

Woo hoo, yay! Finally a deep thought last night. I do have them you know!
8:00 AM

Monday, October 2, 2000

Ok.....so this is why I got this thing. When I heard of the idea, I felt it somewhat strange........Journaling all my thoughts in a public forum. My first thought was "Why would anyone want to hear my thoughts?" "who could possibly be interested in what I have to say?"And then I started reading Erinleigh.com. (Look it up.) This is a woman that I work with, and I have heard that her moto is "never to discuss what happens at work" Anyway, suddenly I realized that I was following this web site. Someone who I worked with and talked to every day But she was writing deeeper than that in her website. I figured that I am a very typical person, and maybe one day just that one person will read a thought of mine that will change their life. Not because it is anything special but because they can relate to it. It will be that thought that lets someone out there know that because they are thinking the same thing does not make them wierd........It makes them unique not unlike me. With all my wierd quirks and "fucked up" opinions. We are all doing what we can to survive......Is that not what it is about????? Survival of the fittest? You know I wish that I had the power to believe that. Somehow these crazy little things called emotions come into play........Great sense of humor God! Thanks Appreciate that! WHAT DOES NOT KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER!!!!!!!
10:42 PM

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